This isn’t ‘hot off the pan’ as I intended. Partly because life got in the way but I prefer to say that I wanted to see if it had a lasting impact. Sadly, the lines from cringing are still visible. So yes, it qualifies.
As Mr. Ram Kapoor turned Priya Kapoor to face him for the thirty-somethingth time in that episode, I squirmed. How many attempts does a guy make to kiss a woman? (Obviously I’ve forgotten, this is no ordinary woman, but the hindi serial heroine. That too an ‘Ekta Kapoor modern naari’) How many time does this woman put her man through the coy ‘Ooyie Maa’ ordeal till her pallu drops, or gets stuck in the fourth button of his hired sherwani, forcing her to turn to him.
Worse still, she runs away to the other end of the room. Her pallu is long enough of course. Allowing him another painfully stretched shot: the Draupadi Vastraharan act. Please to be hearing the word 'Vastraharan' echo a million times in your head to mimic the desi sopa opera SFX.
Will someone tell the writers that this is totally misplaced in context of romance. I am so sure that it was not sensual when the Kauravas sneeringly stripped her. In fact, it was probably as torturous as those madras cut reaction shots for every character’s over-reaction shot. I do pity Mr. & Mrs. Ram Kapoor for having to do re-takes of something like this.
All through, I could hear my mind egging on, ‘you can do it’, ‘you can do it’. No pun intended because ‘do it’ is far, far away: As far as two excruciating episodes at least.
To put this scene into more apt perspective, this is today’s ‘adult’ show: The story about two mature individuals with strong, independent identities. Correction. This was worse than all the saas-bahus put together. Because it’s pretending not to be. Oh, such a sad sham. But they were not alone that night. No no no! No peeping toms in their bedroom. Alongside though, on neighbouring channels Kunal & Siddhi, Ahem & Gopi, (oh it just takes 5 minutes on an episode to be on first name basis with them) and a few other ‘mature jodis’ were attempting their respective make out scenes. Was it a coincidence that all serial couples went ‘holi’ that night? I say so because all this non-action happened in and around holi. Which equals bhaang. Which obviously equals a fuddled romp. Just so they don’t recognize each other after the morning after?
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